A correction: Last week Fly on the Wall told readers that a naked PETA activist, her body marked like a butcher's chart, was protesting at the corner of Union and Beale to show passersby that "humans and animals have the same parts." While the meat of the report was true, the potatoes left something to be desired. Union Avenue and Beale Street run parallel to one another. The painted, panty-clad protester brought her unsettling message that humans are nothing more than a mouth-watering assemblage of steaks and roasts to the corner of Union and Main. We regret the error.
The Memphis Business Journal reports some good in America's economic meltdown. For employers anyway. According to the MBJ, the ongoing recession "scares workers into showing up on time." Maybe if things get tough enough, they'll also stay late, work through lunch, and limit bathroom breaks to twice a week.
The best criticism of Fox News ever comes from our friends at examiner.com, who don't believe that the news channel is taking the recent uptick in UFO sightings seriously. According to the online report, Memphis' Fox station is trying to "live up to its reputation of being fair and balanced" by presenting a counterpoint to the reporter's position that "UFOs are a real phenomenon." The Memphis examiner — as the website's volunteer writers are called — complained that the counterpoint was delivered by "a self-styled UFO skeptic, some astronomer named McGaHa."
Andrew Brown, a writer for Britain's Telegraph, reports that, "Elvis Presley was not a pervert — no matter what his hangers-on claim." Brown convincingly ends his essay by pointing out that former Elvis crony Lamar Fike is overweight.