Fly on the Wall would like to have been a fly on the wall when witnesses described this suspect for police artists: "He was a 20-something African-American male with heavy eyelids, a wispy mustache, Medusa hair, and a forehead like the space alien from Area 51."
Curb Your Enthusiasm In spite of what you may have heard around the water cooler (or shouted in traffic), Memphis isn't home to the worst drivers in America. A list compiled by Allstate Insurance puts Memphians as America's 48th best drivers, sandwiched between Tempe, Arizona, and Omaha, Nebraska. Memphis does boast the worst drivers of any major city in Tennessee, however. Chattanoogans are the second best drivers in the country. Knoxvillians are the fifth, best while Nashville is ranked 21st.
When asked about an anonymous whistleblower who claimed that the Shelby County Election Commission knew in advance about bad early-voting data, Shelby County Election chairman Bill Giannini said: "We don't have the luxury that other groups have of making unabated suppositions and throwing claims out there." Except, of course, for the claim that 6,000 Memphians had already voted even though they hadn't.
Nutbush City Limits
Nutbush resident James Britt was sentenced to life in prison after claiming that he fell face-first into his pistol, sustaining facial injuries and causing the gun to go off, killing his new bride. He told police that they kept pistols under their pillows and that his wife especially liked to shoot at the walls since the house had no functioning utilities and was already condemned.
By Chris Davis. E-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org.