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Verbatim Gwyneth Paltrow, guesting as a substitute sex-ed teacher on Glee, delivered this juicy line: "I just read in the newspaper that 90 high school girls in a Memphis school district got pregnant within three months. I mean, it is Tennessee, but still!" Yes, hillbilly jokes still bring down the house.

That's Unexpected According to various lists compiled by various organizations, but mostly Forbes magazine, Memphians are way too fat, improbably lazy, plagued by comic-book-scale crime, and deeply miserable. In spite of our now-legendary civic down-and-outness, a new list assembled by the Daily Beast ranks Memphis as the nation's third soberest city. The DB looked at an average number of drinks consumed per month and the number of booze-related health problems in the area. It fails to account for the fact that, in Memphis, this counts as one drink:

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Verbatim II Tragic misunderstanding or genius plan for a wrestling comeback? From The Commercial Appeal: "Stan Lane, once a member of the Fabulous Ones tag team, is alive and well contrary to a Thursday obituary in The Commercial Appeal." The obit was actually for the late Samuel P. Ticer, who apparently left his family with the impression he was half of one of the most popular tag teams of the 1980s. Is the actual Lane planning to make a comeback at the Mid-South Coliseum to take on Ticer's memory?

By Chris Davis. E-mail him at davis@memphisflyer.com.

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