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Fly on the Wall

Texting and driving, eggplants penises, and brain-eating parasites.

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Top Tweet
Fly on the Wall's coveted Tweet-o-the-Week award goes to Action News 5, which handily topped this week's competition with this epic teaser: "Tonight at 10 — A veteran driving a wagon pulled by mules is involved in a deadly texting & driving crash ... that may have SAVED his life #AN5."

Verbatim
In a video played for jurors Friday as a part of the ongoing Michael Jackson/wrongful-death trial, Dr. Scott Saunders, who treated Jackson from 1998 through 2003, claimed that the entertainer wanted to stop using pain medication. "I don't want to end up like my father-in-law [Elvis Presley]," Jackson was quoted as saying.  

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Food Porn
Curiously malformed eggplants were on sale at the Poplar Plaza Kroger this week. Doesn't this one look just like Squidward from SpongeBob SquarePants?

Arkansas Explained
Speaking of Channel 5, the AN5 team finally figured out what happened to Arkansas.

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On a more serious note, fresh-water swimmers should take precautions as they risk a 1-in-33-million chance of being attacked by this terrifying nightmare bug.

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