There comes a time when every person looks in the mirror and asks, "Is there a wilder towing company out there?" And the answer, my friends, is yes there is. The sign on the truck's door reads "Alberto's." The announcement on the bumper: "Buck Wild." The good news, at least, is that it's not Buck Naked towing. Because that would be even wilder.
According to the London Daily Mail, Elvis Presley's fans may "get the last laugh." We're not sure what they might be laughing about though since the Mail's story sounds more Mary Shelley than Jerry Seinfeld. Dr. Michael Zuk, a Canadian dentist, believes he can clone Presley using DNA sequenced from a tooth he has acquired. He also owns one of John Lennon's teeth and claims that the Beatle, who was gunned down 33 years ago, could be back in circulation by 2040.
Don't "worry" about any of the "cats" at House of "Mews." Those "Poinsettas" are "artificial" and not "Posioness" at all. Meow.
The mouse that has sat atop Atomic Pest Control Company on Elvis Presley Blvd. will be removed this week and taken to Georgia, where it will adorn the roof of another pest control company. Atomic is merging with Allied Termite and Pest Control, and the big cheese is no longer wanted.