Live audio from the G8 Summit of world leaders:
"Yo, Blair, my main man! Whatup, dawg?"
"Oh yes, hello, George. Lovely to see you. A word with you in private, if I may ... "
"Dude, have you tried these rolls? They're mmph-mmmphing delicious."
"Yes, quite, I do agree. Very tasty. ... Um, George, about this Middle East thingie ... Um, a bit of a sticky wicket, don't you think?"
"All we need is for mmmph-mmph-ing Kofi Annan mmph get off his mmph-ing butt ... Speakin' a butt, T, did you have some a that pig I sliced at the German feast thing last night. That shit was was some kinda mmmphing gooo-oood! "
"Yes, yes, quite good that, I must say, but ... "
"And, hey, didja see the way Angie baby jumped when I squeezed her shoulders? That little German filly loves her some GW, I tell ya."
"I'm sure, George, but about this Israel/Lebanon situation ... What are your people thinking at this juncture?"
"Mmph mmmph, Condi's on the case. Relax. Mmmph. Pass me that butter, T-dawg. Mmmph, mmmph. See, the irony a the situation is that Syria's gotta get them Hezbollahs to stop this bombin' shit and then ... Well, hey, problem solved, dude."
"Yes, well, that's certainly a unique approach, I must say."
"Gotta be done, dawg."
"Oops, I do believe that microphone's on, George."
"You worry too much, Tony-Boy. Hey, there's Vladmeer ... Whassup, Pooter Pants?"
"Oh ... Hello, George."
"Hey, ja hear my speech on how freedom's on the march in Iraq? A little democracy might be good for you Russkies too, ya know."
"George, if your idea of democracy is what's happening in Iraq, we'll take a pass."
"Mmmph. A pass? I'll show ya a pass. Here ... catch this roll. They're mmphing good."
"No thanks, George."
"Whatever, man. Peace out. I gotta get home and veto me some stem-cell funding."
Bruce VanWyngarden, Editor