Opinion » Letter From The Editor

Letter from the Editor

by

comment

A mysterious package came to me in the office mail last week. It was wrapped in brown paper, and there was no return address. Inside was a thick document apparently consisting of the detailed notes from a meeting between several lawyers representing O.J. Simpson.

Ordinarily, I wouldn't publish such confidential information, but since the O.J. story is now the most important issue of our time, I feel obligated to pass along some of the highlights from the transcript:

"... So it's agreed. We need a slogan."

"Yep. How about, 'It's my memorabilia, so I cannot steal,' yo?"

"That's weak. Very weak. What about, 'It's my crap, so I must beat the rap'?"

"Nope. C'mon, fellas. We can do better than that. What would Johnnie Cochran come up with? WWJCD?"

"'It was only a suit, and I did not shoot.'"

"Now, that's better. Now we're rolling. There are no bad ideas here. This is a brainstorming session."

"'It was just some threads, and nobody's dead.'"

"Ehhh. Nah."

"'What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas'?"

"Been done. Too obvious."

"'Since when is it a crime to be stupid '?"

"I don't think that's quite the image we're looking for."

"I know — 'Room service! Room Service!'"

"Now that's stupid."

"Hey, you said there were no bad ideas."

"Well, that one's bad."

"Could we get Ashton Kutcher to say it was a wacky, over-the-top episode of Punked ?"

"Please."

"I've got it! I've got it. 'It's my shit, so you must acquit!' "

"Now that's a winner. Gentlemen, I believe this meeting is over."

Bruce VanWyngarden

brucev@memphisflyer.com

Keep the Flyer Free!

Always independent, always free (never a paywall),
the Memphis Flyer is your source for the best in local news and information.

Now we want to expand and enhance our work.
That's why we're asking you to join us as a Frequent Flyer member.

You'll get membership perks (find out more about those here) and help us continue to deliver the independent journalism you've come to expect.


Add a comment