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BUSH'S PRIVATIZATION GURU: A NINE-YEAR-OLD! For five years, the country has suffered the boners, smirks and swaggers of the First Dimwit. While the world is aghast, we have suffered “nookyulur”, “Amurka”, and “they misunderestimated me”. Let’s face it, Bush makes Dan (Mr. Potato Head) Quayle look like Mensa material.

But finally, George W has found an intellectual peer. It seems quite appropriate that the highly esteemed Yale graduate with the distinguished war record has enlisted the mature and gifted mind of a nine-year- old to convince the unsophisticated masses that the most glaring problem of the day is a Social Security fund which will be solvent, by government estimates through 2042.

The Republicans have recruited young Noah McCullough to fight their idealogical battle to privatize Social Security and finally dismantle the New Deal. Talk about gravitas. The White House dismisses the likes of economics professor and New York Times columnist Paul Krugman, Democratic members of Congress, and the AARP as unworthy of expressing an informed opinion, but rally around the ridiculous sensibilities of a nine-year-old. What would we have done without this opportunity to consult America’s future about the manner in which we conduct our domestic economic policies?

Noah, a wiz-kid TV novelty act from suburban Houston, began campaigning for Bush during the election of 2004. When word got out the fourth grader, a veritable encyclopedia of presidential and historical trivia, was a self declared Republican, a right wing think tank calling themselves “Progress for America” engaged him as their new lobbyist. As a resident in House Majority Leader Tom DeLay’s district, DeLay arranged for the funding of a family trip to Washington and then, throughout the country to make appearances advocating for the privatization plan. In a recent interview, the young politico told a gushing, giggling Katie Couric his mother is a Democrat. Yeah, sure, and pigs fly, Noah.

Having a nine-year-old lecturing on Social Security is just another craven act of manipulation by this administration. Patriotism, religion, race, and gender have all been exploited in the Bush PR meat grinder. So now we can have children being used for political gain.

While this wunderkind is out front and center parroting the Republican party line, will he talk about the collapsing dollar which is driving the price of gasoline to $3 a gallon?

Will he lead the discussion on the sky-rocketing property tax increases throughout the nation resulting from the administration’s failure to fund the local communities cost of implementing its ineffective education policies?

Are these concepts that we should expect young Noah to understand? If not, how then, can we expect any more from George W. Bush?

Usually, there is poetic justice in looking to children for answers. Hopefully, this young squire, with more than 3,000 books in his collection, will have read a copy of The Emperor Has No Clothes and will ask George W. to explain that fairytale for us.

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