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MEMPHIS SPORTS SCENE: GET OUT AND PLAY Like many sportswriters, I’m fairly and unashamedly not athletic. Whatever interest I had in actually being an athlete left when I was about two years of age (ugly story, don’t ask), so my current exercise comes in the form of web-surfing or playing sports video games. But you, weary reader, need not become the slug I am. Here are some cool opportunities to get out of the house and get your own athletic thing on. This article is also -- incidentally -- a nifty way for me to clear out some of these promotional materials on my desk. So there, everyone is happy. Professional Boxing Camp You see, I could really take the easy route and say that “each participant gets a free ‘ear-biting’ session with paid tuition.” But with MW Productions, Inc. Training Camp, there is no cost of attendance, so now even that bad joke won’t work. That’s right, MW will pay for “meals, lodging, and training along with professional career services for our boxes,” according to the company’s press release. The trick is that one must travel to Westfield, PA for the camp. Call 814-367-5749 if interested. Memphis Redbirds Baseball Clinic for Adults Closer to home, the Redbirds are hosting their Adult Instructional Clinic at AutoZone park on Saturday, April 20, at 10 a.m. According to the team, “seven-time major league all-star Dave Parker and Redbirds Vice President of Community Relations Reggie Williams, the Los Angeles Dodgers 1986 Rookie of the Year, will be on hand to offer professional instruction on the finer points of baseball.” I’ve had the opportunity to chat with Reggie and he’s a quality guy, so this chance is a good one to play ball. Registration is limited, and registration fees are $25, which includes “a t-shirt, door prizes, lunch, a behind-the-scenes tour of AutoZone Park and a free ticket to that evening's game against the New Orleans Zephyrs.” Call Emma Glover at 722-0250 for more information. Outdoors, Inc. Canoe & Kayak Race For those of you who like water, Outdoors Inc. will host its 21st annual canoe and kayak race on May 4, starting at 10 a.m. on the Mississippi River. All river traffic from the Wolf River to Jefferson Davis Park will be closed by the coast guard. Also of interest, double gold medallist kayaker Greg Barton of Seattle, two-time winner and current track record holder, will be in the race for his fourth time. Against Barton, Pan Am gold medallist Michael Herbert will return to defend his 2001 race championship. And if you were not intimidated enough, members of the Canadian national team will be there to compete as well. There are multiple classes of rowing from young people to older people, and entry fee is $30 per person before April 29th. Call Outdoors Inc. for more information at 901-767-6790. Memphis Maulers And finally, something for all you hard-core potatoes out there, here’s one more thing. The Memphis Maulers, Memphis’ all-female tackle football squad will be kicking some ass on the following home-game dates: April 6 vs. Austin Outlaws; April 13 vs. Tulsa Tornadoes; May 11 vs. Oklahoma City Lightning; May 25 vs. Austin Outlaws; June 8 vs. Tulsa Tornadoes (home); June 22 -- Playoffs; July 6 -- Superbowl. Season tickets are only $30 for two, with game-day tickets costing $7 for general admission. All games are played on Oakhaven HS field. Call 219-4470 for more information. Well ok, there you go. Now you have places to go and my inbox is now clear. Have fun, don’t hold me responsible for anything that happens, and let me know of any sorts of events like these in the future.

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