While buzzing around in cyberspace (and we won t say exactly what we were searching for, though we will allow that it was urgent), the Fly happened to light upon the following domain: www.d-zyn.com/gresmedical. It is a rather unusual site, devoted to a decidedly unsavory medical procedure. This virtual home of the GRES Clinic claims (erroneously, we believe) to originate from a place called the Medical Center, located at 1713 Madison Avenue in Memphis. GRES stands for Gerbil & Rodent Extraction Services. If you ve got a rodent lodged somewhere in your body (and, naturally, how it got there is your own business), GRES claims they can remove it.
GRES alleged founder, Dr. Larry Farnsworth, was concerned that, in most rodent- extraction cases, medical professionals typically don t concern themselves with the health and safety of the rodent being extracted. The GRES motto is So that no gerbil will suffer, and the site claims that, after each extraction, the rodents, be they gerbil or guinea pig, are bathed in an anti-fecal solution and then placed in a loving home. According to Farnsworth, If I can save just one [rodent], I have done my job. The site also claims that a second clinic has recently opened in Wynne, Arkansas, due to popular demand. An endorsement by one satisfied customer claims, Sure, it hurts. But I m just glad to have Mr. Buggles back. Well, I m glad he s not crawlin around up in my colon anymore!