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PARANOIA DEPARTMENT

PARANOIA DEPARTMENT

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With reality programming and talk shows showing no signs of decreased popularity, it's becoming more and more obvious that Andy Warhol was correct when he declared that in the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. But even the great Warhol could not have guessed that we'd squander that quarter-hour wagging our fingers in the air and shouting, "No you di-unt, NO YOU DI-UNT!" It's a Springer world out there, kiddos, and it's almost impossible to turn around without being reminded that somewhere, somehow somebody we love is doing us like a dog. Malls carry spy equipment to "check up" on ourloved ones. Billboards for DNA testing ask, "Who's the real daddy?" Now an advertising campaign on MATA buses for AIDS testing asks, "Your boo is doing you...and who?" No you di-unt, MATA, NO YOU DI-UNT!

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