Opinion » The Rant

Scotched and Trumped!



Whoaaaa! I've been trying not to write much about Donald Trump because the idiot is getting way too much publicity, but I figured not many people pay attention to me, so I'm not adding to the media frenzy that much when I state that I really do think he might be the Antichrist.

I'm not a religious person, and I don't know about all this Armageddon and heaven and hell and all that. And I was naive enough to think that, when he announced he was running for president of the United States, people would not get behind him the way they have. I, like many people, didn't take him seriously at all, and just thought of him as bad entertainment, a train wreck hard not to stare at. I figured anyone who'd ever been to Trump Tower and witnessed how gaudy it is would know better.

But now that he's on a world stage (well, at his Trump Turnberry golf course, one of several he has built in Scotland) offering up his rhetorical B.S. in support of the United Kingdom pulling out of the European Union — he's actually become even more dangerous than he has been before now.

In my real job as PR guy for a major Memphis cultural organization, I deal with people from all over the world on a daily basis, especially the United Kingdom. We have a lot of U.K. journalists, filmmakers, bloggers, and others in the media whom I've become great friends with over the years, and they are absolutely mystified by the United States' having someone like Donald Trump being in the position he's in. And now that he has come out with his unfettered-by-any-knowledge opinion that it's great for Great Britain to pull out of the European Union, they hate him even more. One friend actually just emailed me this morning, saying, "I honestly didn't think this [pulling out] could happen. It makes me actually scared of Donald Trump."

Why Trump decided to travel to Scotland to cut the ribbon on a golf course at the same time the United Kingdom is doing something more radical than anything it has done in 100 years is anyone's guess, unless he just figured he would get more publicity if he rode on the coattails of an historic, controversial event that was getting the attention of the press all over the world.

Trexit, please. - REUTERS | CARLO ALLEGRI
  • Reuters | Carlo Allegri
  • Trexit, please.

And he did it in true, inexplicable Trump fashion. After circling his Scottish golf course in his G-TRMP helicopter, he landed to be met, as The New York Times reported, "much like the queen of England would be met, by staff members of Trump Turnberry — all clad in red 'Make Turnberry Great Again' hats — as well as two bagpipers in kilts who, along with Secret Service, preceded him up the sloping steps to his property. And he waxed proudly about his golf resort for more than 15 minutes, before finally taking questions on the seismic news of the day."

While that may not be Antichrist behavior, it's hard to make the case that it's not pretty damn weird. Almost as weird as his referring to himself as "Scotch," instead of Scottish.

His comments ranged from comparing renovating a golf course to making America great again to blaming Barack Obama for commenting on the U.K. pullout, even though he was standing there doing the same thing and had been doing it for a few days prior to his grand arrival, once someone in his campaign explained to him what "Brexit" meant.

While he heralded the departure of the United Kingdom from the European Union as a catalyst that would drive down the pound and thereby drive more people to his Scottish golf courses (yes, it's fine to scratch your head in public), he failed to mention that when building the Trump International Golf Links course near Aberdeen, Scotland, he sued the Scottish government for trying to build smart-energy wind farms that would block the view of the ocean from the courses, and psychologically tortured homeowners who refused to get their cottages out of his way. He promised 6,000 to 7,000 jobs for the development, which now has approximately 150 employees. And apparently, it gets few players because it's built on shifting sand dunes and is usually shrouded in freezing cold fog.

One Scotch — oops, I mean, Scottish columnist wrote, "Some locals are puzzled over why Trump would build a golf course in a spot regularly shrouded in cold fog. It is fabulous news for the area, of course, and also for knitwear manufacturers, who will make a killing when the world's top players step out on the first tee and feel as though their limbs are being sawn off by a northeast breeze that hasn't paused for breath since it left the Arctic."

So, all of you Trump supporters, this is the man you are backing to handle foreign policy for the United States? I think it might be the end times. Orlando, ISIS, Trump, the fact that Americans can buy a military assault rifle faster than you can get a drink in a crowded bar — it's not looking good. I just hope Trump's hair doesn't turn out to be the mark of the beast.

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