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The Cheat Sheet



1 An emergency-room nurse with Baptist Hospital in Collierville has filed a $500,000 lawsuit against her former employer, claiming she was fired because she used a breast pump at work. The problem, it seems, wasn't that she was using the device, which helps the breast produce milk for her newborn baby, but that she was leaving her work area during her breaks to do so. Good gosh, did the hospital expect her to start pumping away right there in the emergency room? Some of the people who visit the ER have heart conditions.

2 Yet another deadly accident claims two lives on the Memphis-Arkansas Bridge. Before we built all those bridges over the river, we used ferries to cross the Mississippi. Maybe we should go back to those; they seem less risky than some of the bridges these days and they'd be more fun.

3 Park rangers discover a northern snakehead in a lake in Shelby Forest State Park. Even though it was dead, wildlife officials are alarmed at the prospect that this deadly fish -- a carnivorous creature that can breath air, travel short distances across land, and grow up to four feet long -- has somehow migrated here from other states. This news came on the same day that The Commercial Appeal announced we were closer to opening a Bass Pro Shop in The Pyramid. They need to hurry up. Only the region's best fishermen can save us now!

4 A diverse group of Memphis ministers has pledged financial support to families who are unable to pay their high utility bills this winter. There's only one question left to answer: Where do we sign up?

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