1. Campus police are investigating a possible "prostitution ring" operating out of a men's bathroom on the University of Memphis campus. Apparently someone had drilled a "glory hole" through the wall of one of the stalls, which allowed one participant to, uh, you know, while the other -- well, you'd better get your minister to explain it to you.
2. The Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency is considering opening more than 2,000 acres of land along the Wolf River for hunting. We're not sure that's a good idea, since it would make canoeing along that stretch of the Wolf even riskier than it is now. We guess it's just another reason to wear that ugly, bright-orange life vest at all times.
3. Last week, city officials staged a drill at Memphis Motorsports Park involving this scenario: A cargo plane carrying radioactive materials crashes in Memphis, spewing deadly poison. Also last week, the state health department presented its emergency plan for handling an outbreak of avian flu, and it's a pretty bleak situation: vaccines rationed, schools turned into hospitals, etc. Maybe we should just hand out bottles of Xanax to everyone. We sure need something calming in these perilous times.
4. Dick Hackett was named the new director of the Children's Museum of Memphis. Considering he was mayor here for 10 years and somehow put up with the City Council all that time, we'd say he has plenty of experience dealing with kids.