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The Cheat Sheet



In a recent column, we compared Memphis to the Wild West because of all the gunplay here. But at least one thing we didn't have to complain about was cattle rustlin'. Or so we thought. Last week, some good-for-nothing varmints stole a horse that a local fellow gave to his wife as a gift. It wasn't a real horse -- just a very expensive, almost-life-size fiberglass replica that she displayed in her front yard near Millington -- but that still makes them horse thieves.

The world of television can teach us so many valuable things. A Binghampton man was accused of murder after human remains were found in his backyard. When police investigated, they found traces of blood under the newly painted walls of his home. The suspect's simple explanation: "Yeah, I painted the walls of the bedroom. I watch CSI." Perhaps he should also have watched Boston Legal -- you know that part where the cops say, "Anything you say can and will be used against you."

Steve Cohen is off to Washington, and state representative Beverly Marrero wants to take his place as state senator. Then, it seems Patrice Robinson, who is head of the school board, wants a chair on the Memphis City Council, to replace TaJuan Stout Mitchell, who has resigned to take a job in city government. Maybe. Look, we played musical chairs when we were kids. It was a fun game then. Not now.

Memphis Light, Gas and Water announced a plan to replace its meter readers with computerized gadgets that somehow transmit utility readings to headquarters. The project would cost anywhere from $70 million to $150 million, but MGLW wouldn't be more specific. That doesn't surprise us. That's about the same amount our bill changes from month to month, and they can't explain that either.

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