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Ophelia Ford admits that she has a permit to carry a handgun. In a typically rambling statement to reporters, she claims she got a gun because she had a "paranoid schizophrenic crazy" husband. As a result, "he's my bed partner." We think she was talking about the gun. But she divorced that husband, and then "I put the honey away." Again, we think she was talking about the gun. And we think we've found the new spokesperson for the National Rifle Association.

Eighteen years ago, Rickey Peete resigned from the City Council in the face of an extortion scandal — accused of taking bribes handed to him under the table (literally) at a Shoney's. Last week, Peete resigned again, again following a scandal, and again involving bribes. He rebounded from that first conviction with a re-Peete. Let's hope we skip a three-Peete.

Robert F.X. Sillerman, who owns the majority of Elvis Presley's estate, announces that he wants to spend $250 million to upgrade Graceland and the surrounding area, as just one step in his plan to double attendance at the mansion. Sillerman's company, CKX, also owns the rights to Muhammad Ali and American Idol, so the man obviously knows a thing or two about marketing. But if it involves that Sanjaya fellow, then we want nothing to do with it.

Presidential hopeful John McCain visits Memphis and drops a hint that, if elected president, he wouldn't mind having a rather well-known Memphian named Fred Smith as a member of his cabinet. No word yet on how Smith feels about that, but quite frankly, we need him here to run FedEx.

Arun Gandhi, grandson of Mahatma Gandhi, announces he will move his M.K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence from Memphis to Rochester, New York. Considering all the crime in this city recently, who can blame him?

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