Opinion » The Rant

The Rant



I try my best not to buy too heavily into too many conspiracy theories at one time, which is sometimes difficult

because there are so many out there. But I am now convinced that this administration

just might be out to make sure, for whatever reasons, that we are the most abhorred country on the planet. As if

things weren't bad enough that Republicans are now fighting among themselves about whether or not our covert spies and contracted laborers should be allowed to torture people and ignore the Geneva Conventions, there was a tiny news bit last week that got about one minute of airplay but said a lot. Because it would be more "convenient" to consolidate U.S. troops in South Korea, we are expanding south around the city of Pyeongtaek and in the process demolishing several villages and the homes of hundreds of people, mostly in their 60s and 70s, so we can put our big penises -- uh, I mean, weapons and such -- there. Naturally, this has angered the villagers, many of whom have taken to protesting in what is left of the streets of their villages, and, naturally, they have immediately been branded "anti-U.S. activists." Now, I realize that our military presence in South Korea is allegedly to protect them from North Korea and probably just a little bit to guilt their military into sending troops to Iraq. But come on. Is there no way to do what we need to do there without running a bunch of aging farmers out of their own homes? Abu Ghraib, Guantanamo, secret prisons, wire-tapping, torture (if you've never seen "water boarding," the drowning technique George Bush is so fond of, rent the movie Quills and see a depiction of it when the Marquis de Sade is being punished for writing about sex) ... Is there ANYONE at the public relations helm of this White House? Oh, well, at least we're not demolishing Trent Lott's Mississippi vacation home. You remember how upset Bush was about that after Hurricane Katrina. I tell you what they better keep their eyes on -- the White House and the U.S. military, that is: Luxembourg. I've often stated on this page that it wouldn't surprise me if we invaded and occupied the tiny European nation, and now they're posing a real threat to us. Seems that Luxembourg, with its vast pharmaceutical resources, is working with India to help provide free medicine to about 250 million impoverished people there. Sounds pretty fishy to me. What if some of those Muslims and Hindus get free medicine that they otherwise can't afford? This has disaster for United States safety written all over it. Condi, why are you not flying off to Luxembourg immediately to put a stop to this? I know you are busy defending your boss' desire to torture folks in secret locations with no oversight, but don't you think Luxembourg is more important? Think of all the watches and chocolate you could buy while shopping over there. Maybe you could offer some to the South Koreans we are driving from their homes that contain all of the memories of their lifetimes and the land they have farmed for generations. And you have to hand it to those pesky South Koreans. Rather than sitting back and being bulldozed without any sort of fight, they are out there in the streets throwing dirt and wielding sticks against the, oh, 16,000 riot police that "democracy" has unleashed on them. Do you think we should put them all in a prison and pile them up naked and have dogs gnarling and snapping at their private parts? It would probably be in our best interest to nip this in the bud now rather than wait until they have formed their own insurgent operations. It's the American way. Unfortunately.

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