"Paris Hilton got 45 days in jail. A lot of people were upset about this; they were hoping for the death penalty."
— Jay Leno
This is my third column on Paris Hilton, for which I am deeply ashamed. But she is such a train wreck and the antithesis of what I want my kids to become that I am forced to write about her latest escapade. She is so representative of L.A. and the type of kids Beverly Hills produces that I really want to point out that we should never listen to what these celebutards or their parents say.
Each year, I go to L.A. to play with a good friend at his member-guest golf tournament at the Riviera Country Club. He is a great guy who, since his son was born, has wanted to move to Atlanta. I asked him why, given that L.A. seems like such a paradise. He said that L.A. is no place to raise a kid. The values are all warped: It is all about superficial looks and money. He railed on the entitlement mindset of kids who just inherit their parents' money or celebrity and saw nothing of value in raising a child there.
After I thought about it, I realized that the major recent graduates of Beverly Hills area high schools are Jack Abramoff, Monica Lewinsky, Robert Downey Jr., Nicole Ritchie, and Paris Hilton.
If you missed it, the fair Paris was sentenced to 45 days in jail for violating terms of her parole for DUI. She cited her publicist, who apparently told her that the L.A. police would never arrest a thin white girl who is a cute celebrity. She said, "He told me I could drive to work." Which raises another question: What does she do for work?
Now she's scheduled to go to a minimum-security prison, which is about like an average Hilton hotel these days. She will be exposed to video cameras, body searches, and perhaps cavity searches at any moment — not unlike a night out in L.A. for her, so it won't be much of a change.
The most telling thing was when her mother made fun of the judge and acted like a complete spoiled brat in court. No doubt that's why Paris is the way that she is — and it is indicative of the way many in Hollywood raise their kids. There is not a more superficial and ostentatious place in the world. While a majority claim to be liberals, they talk about money more than people in any other city in the world. Most of these do-nothing heirs and their parents are hooked on their celebrity as much as they are on drugs. Listening to them speak, it's obvious the only thing they are not hooked on is phonics.
Paris' mother went on to say that she was going to appeal her daughter's case to Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Which to me is amazing — the fact that Paris' mother actually knew who the governor of California was. Good thing he was a celebrity. I doubt that she could have come up with Gray Davis' name.
Fortunately, unlike with celebs O.J., Michael Jackson, and Robert Blake, California found a way to impose justice in the Hilton case. They will send her away to prison for a few weeks, or as she and her new publicists will try to spin it, "a gated community."
The main problem I see for the prison system is trying to squeeze in 2,000 conjugal visits in 45 days. And I just hope her friend Nicole Ritchie doesn't go on a hunger strike for Paris. In fact, in L.A., it might be a better plan for her friends to go on eating strikes.
Let Paris out, or I'll eat again.
Ron Hart is a columnist and investor in Atlanta. He worked for Goldman Sachs and was appointed to the Tennessee Board of Regents by Lamar Alexander. His E-mail: RevRon10@aol.com.