By the time this issue of the paper comes out, it will have come and gone, but right now, it's one of the more interesting things that has happened during the brief time Barack Obama has been in office: The president of the United States is trying to brainwash the children of the country and turn them into communists by telling them in a nationally televised speech that they should work hard in school, stay in school, and make the most of the education they are getting. I can hardly believe he is going to do this. I am worried about our kids. It's going to interrupt their school day. It's going to make our children think he is some kind of god that they have to worship. It's going to warp their minds to the point that they are going to feel compelled to like colored people, whether they want to or not. I am shocked.
How dare the president of United States try to force his political agenda on these kids! I don't blame the parents who are keeping their children out of school that day, which happens to be the first day of the school year for many of them. What a horrible way to get started — hearing a short message from the president about the value of education. I'm glad so many people have their children in all-white, religious private schools so they are not subjected to this. It was okay when George W. Bush read the goat book to those kids in Florida while the Twin Towers in New York City were being rammed by airplanes, because goat books aren't veiled, subversive ploys to turn innocent children into socialists by encouraging them to learn while they are in school. I'm surprised Obama doesn't have Fidel Castro join him in the speech. No, that wouldn't work, come to think of it. I don't think Castro is too keen on gay marriage, and I feel sure Obama will try to work that into his speech so the children have to experience the gay agenda.
And, boy howdy, don't you know he is going to try to ram that health-care crap of his down their throats. Just look how he did that when delivering his nationally televised eulogy for Ted Kennedy. Oh, I know a lot of people were in shock because he didn't use that occasion to say more about it, but you can bet he used some key words that caused invisible rays of power to reach into people's minds to make them agree with him. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he secretly hypnotizes the children during the speech with some secret Soviet voice-rhythm patterns to make them go home and tell their parents that they now believe everyone should be able to go to the doctor when they are sick and not lose their homes because of their medical bills. Just watch the little tykes. They are all going to be asking for red armbands for their birthdays, so they can be part of the Obama revolution to take away the individual rights of all Americans.
Yes, parents, keep your children home and close to your side when this dictator tries to force your children to adore Him. You don't want them to become Black Panthers, do you now? If you allow them to watch his speech, that is going to be the inevitable outcome. After hearing the president, your kids will probably murder you in your sleep, if you say you didn't vote for him. This subliminal message he will be sending out, disguised as an encouraging 15-minute pep talk about staying in school and working hard, should not be taken lightly. In fact, this is pretty much the beginning of the end. Mark my words: Your children will become part of the Obama Army, and you'll be at their mercy when you get old and need them to take care of you. If they don't murder you in your sleep, they'll just have you killed in the hospital or the nursing home by one of his death panels. Are you willing to let them attend the first day of school and run this risk? I should think not!