Opinion » The Rant

The Rant


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Okay, enough with the political emails. You'd think the end of the world is just around the corner if you had my inbox. "SAVE THE SENATE NOW! HORROR SHOW! MOST IMPORTANT DEADLINE IN HISTORY!" I'm totally on board with President Obama and totally against the Tea Party (they obviously need to party more and unplug that certain orifice that makes them walk funny). But the email barrage is a little much.

I'm really tired of opening emails that are from Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Cory Booker, Joe Biden, and all of the other politicos that I like so much, because they aren't really from them. Just once I would I would like to get an email from Barack or Michelle Obama to which I could respond and just shoot the breeze with them. And all these promises of getting flown in to have dinner with Obama if only I will donate some money and have my name go into a hat with a million other people for selection? I don't even play slot machines and have no earthly idea at all how the Tennessee State Lottery works so I'm not putting any eggs in that basket. Yes, I've donated money to various campaigns (Obama, Booker — two of my favorite people in the world), but now they all seem to have gone into full guilt mode, reminding me of how long it has been since I donated and telling me that if I don't do it again NOW that it's my fault a moron like Majority Leader Mitch McConnell might be in charge of the Senate. Okay, so it worked, and I made a small donation. Hope it works out.

But it does appear that some politicians will stop at nothing to get their way and, more importantly, stay in the headlines. This whole deal with John Boehner announcing that he is going to "sue" Barack Obama? What a nut job. Can we not all work out something so that several thousand people file legitimate lawsuits against Boehner and tie him up in legal battles and fees for the rest of his life? I can barely spell the guy's name, though. Why does he pronounce it "Bayner" when everyone knows it should be "Boner?" Whatever.

The absolute weirdest thing that has happened in this flurry of political grandstanding to stave off Armageddon is that guy in Mississippi who sneaked into the elderly care home and took photos of Thad Cochran's infirm wife, placed them in a video online, got arrested for it, and then killed himself. I think he was a stooge for one of the Tea Partiers (who doesn't party enough) who was running in the primary against Cochran. My question here is: Are politics in Mississippi REALLY that important? Is being a senator or congressman or governor in Mississippi that powerful — enough so to photograph a woman in a nursing home who's suffering from dementia — and then to make someone commit suicide?

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  • Emma Thompson

Don't get me wrong. I love many, many, many things about Mississippi. It's where all forms of authentic American music got their start. Yes, you can trace everything Nine Inch Nails and, God forbid, Miley Cyrus sings back to the first slaves in Mississippi. It's way too complicated to get into here but just trust me on this one.

I also love Clarksdale, Mississippi. I love to go down there any time of day or night and just fall into the groove. And the more cheap and nasty the motel room, the better. It's all part of the experience. And Clarksdale has the coolest mayor of any city in the country, although he's neck-and-neck in cool with our own Mayor A C Wharton. Bill Luckett, Clarksdale mayor, attorney and business partner with Morgan Freeman in Ground Zero Blues Club, is Bill Clinton cool. Tall, white hair, down to earth, funny, smart, and, well, just cool. And Clarksdale has great tamales. And stores that sell the greatest, brightest-colored polyester suits and fake alligator shoes.

Also, and although I don't have any real data on this, I think there are probably fewer people on Twitter in Mississippi than in other states and fewer people who take selfies (a word my spell check, mercifully, still does not recognize). I hate Twitter, and I hate selfies. I have many close and lovely friends who love Twitter and selfies, but I detest both. I hide from cameras like they are loaded weapons. Why on earth would I want to take a photo of myself? I could never be a celebrity. The thought of tweeting my every thought or move or where I am having dinner makes me twitch. I'm with two-time Oscar-winning actress Emma Thompson when it comes to Twitter. Thompson recently told Vanity Fair magazine:

"Listen, I'd rather have root canal treatment FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE than join Twitter. That's not my scene at all. I can't bear the thought of being connected all the time. God knows what it's all doing to us. I hope that everyone does realize that we are all just one giant human experiment at the moment. We are just a great big bunch of little gerbils on wheels. .... And then we will wonder why, at the age of 60, an entire generation chucks itself off a cliff like a bunch of lemmings. Actually, that's the most likely outcome, don't you think? It's like, 'I can't take this anymore!' It's the lemming generation, I'm telling you." I'm donating money to her campaign now.


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