I realize that last week s issue of the Flyer had a comprehensive guide to Valentine s Day, and a good one it was. But since this is supposed to be a column that recommends things to do around town, and since this particular issue does come out on Valentine s Day (or the day before for many of you), I guess it s my job to offer up some ideas that didn t make it in last week s cut. So here goes. First of all, pick a date. Make sure it s someone you like -- with no constraints regarding race, age, or gender. Pay for one if you have to. There are dozens of local escort services in the Yellow Pages. Start out the day with breakfast at the A & J Diner at Hernando and G.E. Patterson Boulevard. You ll never meet nicer people than the women who run this place. They are lovely. I had a bologna-and-cheese sandwich and bottle of apple juice there the other morning for breakfast and it was delightful. I ll have more news later about when the baby is due. After this, go wander around a graveyard. I m serious. A graveyard is a beautiful thing. Take Elmwood, for instance. One of the most beautiful spots in Memphis. Go sit by big-band leader Jimmy Lunceford s grave for a while and stare into each other s eyes. You and your date. Not Jimmy Lunceford. He s probably not looking so good these days. And then there s the oldest graveyard in Memphis, the Bettis Family Cemetery. Know where that is? Adjacent to the east wall of the Midtown Piggly Wiggly on Madison Avenue. Yep, perpetuity at the Pig. But if you re at Elmwood, since you re over that way, take a tour of Soulsville. See the progress they re making on the Stax Museum of American Soul Music and College Park. See the house where Aretha Franklin was born. Stop by Michael s Barber Shop on College Street or Shirley s Beauty Shop on McLemore Avenue and have your hair done. Michael and Shirley are both very, very cool. If you are rich, stop by the Stax Museum office and give them lots and lots of money, because it s the best project going in Memphis right now. By now, you are more than likely very ready for a Bloody Mary and perhaps lunch. Stop by Old Zinnie s and see what home-cooked delicacy Puddin is cooking up today. You could easily while away the afternoon there, but if you want to get back out, think about finding a nice spot to just kick back and read the paper. Maybe someone out there will offer up some more information about how the University of Georgia campus is now being powered by chicken fat or how Georgia Tech just signed on a new quarterback named I-Perfection Harris, who has a brother named I-Supreme Harris. Sharing an afternoon in the sunshine reading about the Harris brothers sounds pretty romantic to me. By now, it s time for happy hour. Try the Holiday Inn Lounge in West Memphis. I have many fond memories of being there on Saturday nights and eating pizza with Linda Gail Lewis. It s a fabulous bar. For dinner, I d say you d best come on back to Memphis and just choose your favorite restaurant. Think about impressing your date by going to Melos Taverna and every time you need to light a cigarette, order the special flaming cheese dish. It s very showy. Finally, for late-night entertainment, there are many options. How about this? Head out to PT s Showclub at Winchester and Getwell for Erotic Valentine s Wrestling, where, as their ad states, the hottest ladies wrestle their way to victory in a pool filled with whipped cream and chocolate syrup. How much more romantic can you get than that? Of course, if they were to add a little nudie midget-tossing into the mix, it might make things even more exciting, and female impersonators wrestling in Jell-O is always a good bet (I ve seen this firsthand), but even without those additions, it sounds like a pretty good time. So go out and have a blast. Here s a brief look at some of the other things that are going on around town this week. Today, of course, is Valentine s Day, and there are far too many dinner specials and other offerings to mention here. Some highlights, however, include tonight s Valentine Leather Ball at the Lounge, a Ronald McDonald House benefit featuring Rev. Billy C. Wirtz and Kirk Smithhart; leather attire is suggested. If you d like to go out to the theater, there are several plays opening tonight: Paul Robeson: The Play at LeMoyne-Owen College; What a Man Wants ... What a Woman Needs at The Orpheum; and Kathie and the Hippopotamus at Rhodes College. Tonight s Cabaret at the CafÇ at Brooks at Memphis Brooks Museum of Art is a black-tie affair featuring cocktails, dinner, cabaret music by Jim Johnson, and the production of Dream Maker: The Songs of Johnny Mercer. The Stylistics are at Isaac Hayes tonight. Tonight s
at Earnestine & Hazel s features live music by Los Cantadores (fabulous), the Gabe & Amy Big Band, and Brian Hartley. My money is on going to see The Memphis Grizzlies play Denver tonight (you go, Rodney Buford).