Well, I was reading about some of Nostradamus' prophecies the other day contained in a letter dated September 1568 and discovered in the Bibliothäque Nationale de France. The letter, thoroughly analyzed and authenticated by the leader of a group panel on Nostradamus, is based on seven dreams or visions the prophet experienced, so intense that he wrote about them, and they are about present-day America and the world. And they pretty much hit some things on the head. One was about the current economic disaster taking place with the fall of all the giant corrupt corporations, with, as he predicted, "gilded giants with rotten heads falling onto huddled masses of poor people," adding that this wave of desperation will leave millions penniless and their retirement plans worthless. Of course, there were no Enrons or ImClones or WorldComs in the 1500s, but, hey, this is Nostradamus. He could see into the future. What he didn't mention was that one of the "gilded giants" would be one Ms. Martha Stewart. Rats! Wouldn't it have been spectacular to find writings in which he said, "Ah. Big tall blond woman who have hundreds of assistants making it look like she cook good and garden well and can make any worldly good with hot-glue gun and ribbon will have to cook up crow to devour herself when she get caught cheating in stock market and end up in hoosgow married to woman with most cigarettes and people in said prison begin bartering with fresh herbs and sunflowers rather than marijuana. That teach her to be mean to staffers not allowed to look her in eye." Nosty goes on in the letter to predict that a major political scandal will take place when a top-ranking government official is discovered to be financially linked to a terrorist network and will result in a president or vice president being impeached. Hmm. Could this be the reason Dick Cheney is being forced to live underground somewhere? It would come as no surprise. The only reason he and that boob sidekick of his are still in office is because of all this ridiculous paranoia into which they've thrown the entire country, which does pay their salaries. And there is that little Iran-Contra affair that took place some years back. He then goes on to predict a lot of disasters, like the raging wildfires that have been taking place in America for the past year or so, a lot of things about big wars and attacks on the waters of coastal cities, the Second Coming of Christ in Hawaii or Puerto Rico (both nice vacation spots, so why not Second Coming spots?), and then some discovery in 2006 that will allow certain people to live forever. This one kind of frightens me. I certainly don't want that for myself. When I leave this temporary shell of atoms that my physical body is, I fully intend for them to be restructured in the form of Matt Lauer's kitten. Or an exotic male dancer with a Ph.D. in hemp farming. Or, well, I'm just not sure yet. But I have until 2006 to figure it out, so let me give it some more thought. In the meantime, enjoy the movie going on around you, and here's a brief look at some of what's happening around town this week. Tonight, of course, is the night of the Elvis Presley Vigil & Vigilcast, when thousands of fans join a procession through the street, up the driveway to Graceland, and past Elvis' gravesite into Friday morning. Tonight's special show at the Lounge, "Mama Liked the Roses: A Midtown Tribute To Elvis," features Lucero, the Subteens, the Maroons, and some other surprises. Tonight through Saturday, the University of Memphis Dance Society presents Grass-Stained Velvet at the U of M DanceSpace, featuring the Metal Velvet Dance Project dancing to the music of Delta Grass. Today kicks off the Hank Aaron Celebrity Sports Weekend, a UNCF event featuring a gala with music by Nancy Wilson, a celebrity golf tournament at the Links at Galloway, and a sports breakfast at AutoZone Park. Speaking of which, The Memphis Redbirds play Iowa there tonight. And Eddie Miles is at The Orpheum.