We Recommend

thursday, 3

thursday, 3


First of all, let me say a big thanks for the old Best Columnist thing in last week s paper. I am truly touched. No, really, I am crazy. Touched in the head. I still think Geoff Calkins should have won, but there s always next year. Anyway, thank you. I d also like to thank Pat Tigrett for this year s Blues Ball last weekend. I actually went and, well, this is what happened. A friend and I got all gussied up (well, gussied up for me, which means I tucked my shirttail in and wore a jacket) and we headed down to Cook Convention Center. Parked the car, knowing we would never find it later, and entered the ball. The first thing we thought was a bit odd was the cash bar. But we got a couple of cocktails and sat down and what we thought was our table. There wasn t much decoration and not much of a sign of any Memphis musicians, but we thought, well, I guess we re early or Pat Just didn t go all out this year. So a waiter came over and brought us dinner steak and shrimp and I forget what else and we sat and ate. I didn t see anyone I recognized, which also seemed peculiar. So there we were, waiting for the party to really get under way, having been there about an hour, when a man began to make a speech at a microphone. It seems that we had accidentally entered a Merry Maids convention! Once we found the real Blues Ball, of course, it was a huge and quite fabulous bash with free booze flowing freely and lots of music and a blast. Oops. Oh, well, on to bigger and better things. I just read an Associated Press article, which reports that the U.S. military is exploring ways of using Valium to calm down mass crowds in riots or other crowd-control situations. They are just now getting around to this? I ve said for decades that if the world was all on Valium, there would no war or violent crime and we d all be one big happy, laid-back global family. Of course, it might take us a little longer to find the Blues Ball, but hey, who would care? They re talking about making a Valium spray or mist with which to shower out-of-control crowds and they re calling them calmatives or chemical peacemakers and some stupid watchdog group called the Sunshine Project is all upset about it. I say, take a Valium shower and get off the military s back. It s the first smart thing they ve tried to do in my lifetime, so leave them alone. I m ready to get all mixed up a riot NOW. And another group, some Johns Hopkins University researchers, is shooting up squirrel monkey with multiple doses of Ecstasy to see what reaction they have. Well, how are they going to tell if the monkeys can t talk back to tell them what a good time they are having and how much they love each other and how badly they want to dance the night away. What they need to do is come down here and ask for some human volunteers. Any takers out there? Valium showers and monkeys on X. What will they think of next. In the meantime, here s a brief look at some of what s going on around town this week. If you are reading this on Wednesday, a day earlier than the actual publication date, as many of you to, head out to Roadshow BMW s The Ultimate Drive today. It s a big test-driving party during which you can test drive a Beemer and for each mile you drive, they donate $1 to the Susan G. Komen Foundation for breast cancer research. Also, Jump, Little Children is making a stop here tonight at Young Avenue Deli. As for today, Thursday, the Playwrights Forum kicks off its three-night run of Personals at TheatreWorks, three related one-act plays about relationships and communication. Today kicks off the huge Pink Palace Crafts Fair Audubon Park, with live music, food, and more than 300 artists and craftsmen selling their wares. Tonight s Folks Folly 25th Anniversary Party features food, live entertainment, prizes, and more, with proceeds benefiting BRIDGES. Los Cantadores is playing at lunchtime today at the Center For Southern Folklore. Gary Johns is at Capriccio in the bar tonight and tomorrow night. At the Hi-Tone, it s Songwriters Night with Rob Jungklas, Billy Hatch, John Murry, and Zed Zimmerman. And at Newby s, it s Ladies Night with Scott Sudburry.

Keep the Flyer Free!

Always independent, always free (never a paywall),
the Memphis Flyer is your source for the best in local news and information.

Now we want to expand and enhance our work.
That's why we're asking you to join us as a Frequent Flyer member.

You'll get membership perks (find out more about those here) and help us continue to deliver the independent journalism you've come to expect.

Add a comment