Ah, the poor old Queen Mum. Finally gone to that great feathered-hat boutique in the sky. And what a party gal she was. Drinking, dancing, telling dirty jokes, chowing down on chocolates, gambling on the horse races, and calling down from an upper floor in her palace to the many homosexuals who worked there: Are there any old queens down there who ll fetch a gin and tonic for an old queen up here? You gotta love her. And you gotta wonder how she managed to spawn that hag of a daughter, Queen Elizabeth. And isn t it funny that everyone around the queen seems to be dying. Princess Diana, Princess Margaret, and now her own mother. Does this seem fishy or what? We all know she psychologically tortured poor Di into trying to do herself in by cutting her wrist with a lemon peeler and kept her locked in that palace all the time while her philandering husband Charles was away with that Camilla Parker Bowles, perhaps the most masculine woman since Roller Derby s Ann Cavello. And it seems that Queen Elizabeth was at her mother s side when she died. Also very fishy. Wonder if she had a pillow in her hand. Anyway, the loss of the poor old Queen Mum as well as America s first drag queen, Milton Berle (well, make that the second, because I think former FBI chief J. Edgar Hoover may have had him beat) is sad. And while I find public displays of grief to be rather repugnant and self-serving, I would urge all Brits to lay a bottle of gin at her palace gate. And now I m tired of writing about that. I used to think the only way I would ever get a date would be to go to prison, but now it seems there s a much easier way: turn Catholic. Man, what is up with these dudes? Wearing frocks (speaking of drag) doesn t really give them license to fool around with young men. And now I d best get around to the real point of all this: what s up around town this week. Today is, of course, the anniversary of Martin Luther King s death, and while there are several other things going on around town, my money is on the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr./Memphis Musical Awards at Isaac Hayes Food Music Passion a tribute to the fabulous Stax organization and Rufus Thomas. Today kicks off the Memphis Film Forum s big Memphis International Film Festival 3. Opening night is at Studio on the Square, with screenings of the short Blue Caviar and the feature film Last Ball, followed by a Q&A with the filmmakers. The big Film Festival Party is Saturday night at Palm Court in Overton Square, with the filmmakers in attendance and live music by Interrobang and Automusik. Jazz guitar great John Scofield is at the Lounge tonight. GWAR is at the New Daisy with Soilent Green and Disarray. And last but certainly not least, The Memphis Redbirds play their first home game of the season at AutoZone Park against Fresno and play every day for the next week.