Here we go again with the Catholics. Well, not all of the Catholics, of course, but some of the church s main dudes. Yep, dudes. You ve probably read that the Vatican just released a 37-page report denouncing feminism they are just now getting around to this? because they are afraid that feminism endangers family values. To their credit, their big report does suggest that society make it easier for women to work and raise children all at the same time, as if women have not been doing that for thousands of years. But the great thing about the report is that it says the more similarities there are between men and women, the greater the chance of homosexuality practically taking over the world. Uh, yes, the Catholics are worried about women causing homosexuality. Uh, the Catholics are worried about women causing homosexuality. Uh, the Catholics are worried about women causing homosexuality. Uh, the Catholics are worried about women causing homosexuality. And the dudes at the Vatican are really against women becoming priests. Would someone please give me a break? I think the last thing the Vatican needs to be worried about is women and homosexuality. They might want to start by stopping covering up the deeds in which many of their own priests are involved. I d say that s much more of a threat regarding homosexuality than anything that might come about if a woman became a priest. Of course, one of the main reasons the Vatican releases its little report is that our little president went over to see the Pope in June and asked him to pump up the volume on family values and the horrifying threat of same sex marriage ending the world so it would become more of an issue that his little right wing conservative base could gnaw on closer to election time. Yes, our little man in charge using religion to help keep him head of state. Pretty desperate. I guess these past three-plus years in office have been almost as difficult for him as the three years he spent in second grade. And just what it is with the world and women? Why has this country been around for more than 200 years and we have never had a woman as president or vice president? Doesn t that seem just a little bit ridiculous and backward? Think we would have all this war and destruction and crooked White House administrations if we had a good woman at the helm? No. I don t think we would. If I weren t currently of the opinion that we need to switch to a dictatorship with Al Sharpton as the man, I would definitely want the commander in chief to be a woman. And speaking of Al Sharpton, the only speader at the National Democratic Convention who had the guts to go off, could someone explain the reasoning behind the attire of the delegates at said gathering? I know it is some kind of tradition to dress funny at those things, but come on. The sombreros and sequined top hats and goofy pins and every other bizarre fashion statement known to mankind. These are the people deciding who will be the official Democratic candidate? It looked like a COGIC convention on acid. And we wonder why other countries question our political system? I wish everyone would just take a hit of ecstasy and calm down. In the meantime, here s a brief look at some of what s going on around town this week. Tonight, the Sunset Atop the Madison Series party on the rooftop of the Madison Hotel features lives music by FreeWorld. Jim & The Unknowns are at the Full Moon Club upstairs from Zinnie s East. And Mouse Rocket and The Starvations are at Young Avenue Deli.